Wichita "Big Read" - Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant" by Roz Chast

 

Recently I decided to read the book selected as the NEA Big Read for Wichita, Kansas.  This was a first for me, as I have never read a graphic novel before.  It was also a first in that I got the book by way of Libby, an app that lets you borrow books for free from your local library.  It allows you to read the books on your Kindle or to listen to them as an audio-book. You do need to have a library card, but those are free.  I strongly encourage using Libby if you like to read as much as I do.  While I also purchase books to read on my Kindle, Libby is certainly an awesome FREE alternative.  

 

Now to the book itself - it was a very quick read as it IS a graphic novel.  But the topic is not an easy one.  The topic is what happens as the only child of elderly parents comes to grips with helping them in their declining years.  While my particular experience in handling this was a bit different, in many ways it was exactly the same.  "“Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?” is Chast’s graphic memoir of her parents’ final years: Her father, George, died at 95; her mother, Elizabeth, at 97."  Source 

My father died at the age of 86 in 1999. My mother died a little more than a month before her 100th birthday in October of 2015.   I was lucky in that the Assisted Living facility that I was able to move my mother into had a continuum of care.  That means that as she gradually needed more and more help, she was able to get it in the same facility.  

There are two main points of similarity between my experience and that of the author.  One is the cost of elder care.  In my case, my parents had saved a fair amount of money, but as my mother needed more and more care, I had to sell her house.  The other point of similarity was clearing out her house which was a nightmare.  In my case, I was able to find a fellow who took on the job.  He promised to throw away what wasn't worth anything, sell what might be worth something, and give to me what I needed to keep.  As an example of the latter, he saved boxes of pictures and the letters that my father wrote to my mother as he served in the Pacific during WWII. With the sale of their house, I was able to continue using her money for her care.  She died two months before she ran out of money.  I was in the process of getting Medicaid for her when she passed.

For anyone who might be in this situation, I recommend reading this book.  Another good review of the book can be found here.